Words behind the Action

There were actions, and I didn't really know what they meant. I made this up in hope that it was the feeling behind things. I know now that I was wrong, and this was simply me wishing it was how it was, but I'm not hiding my stupidity from this blog. 

September 2, 2006   24 years old

Words Behind the Action
When you asked me to spend time with you,
I made other plans.
When you asked me to sit and talk with you,
I talked to everyone else.

When you asked me to ask if you're alright,
I never mentioned it again.
When you asked me to take you out that day,
I went out with my friend.

When you asked me to hold you till you fell asleep,
I stayed in the other room.
When you asked me to be faithful, for me to be true,
I promised, but I lied to you.

But now I'm done-
Being the one who lets you down.
I'm starting again-
Doing my best to live the life I've found.

When you asked me to bring flowers soon,
They were roses and I bought three.
When you asked me to not stay out too late,
Everyone left long after me.

When you asked me to give you time to think,
I knew I'd wait for you.
When you asked me to choose, and stay strong,
I did what I had to do.

When you were busy and things needed done,
I did what I could to help you.
When you asked me to try to show my love,
I promised, and I told the truth.

Because I'm done-
Being the one who lets you down.
I've started again-
Doing my best to live the life we've found.

Someday you'll ask me for something again,
Know I'll do what I can.
Someday you'll reach out for me again,
Know that I'll take your hand.

Someday, please need me to be strong for you,
I won't run away this time.
Someday, please ask me what you mean to me,
I'll say that I still want you as mine.

I can't stand-
the idea-
of again breaking your heart in two.
From this day on-
I will try-
to be the one who deserves to have someone like you.