Tired

By the time I wrote this poem, I had two guaranteed full scholarships to school. I was president of three clubs, a state officer, serving on a national team, active member of five other clubs, a full time college and high school student, and pulling a 4.0 gpa.  

I had been doing this for years. And, I was tired. I was tired of my whole life being about my future. Now that my future was right there, I just wanted a break.

January 13, 2000   12th grade, age 17.

Tired

I know what I want but it's not what I need.

                                  And I'm sorry I can't have all.

      I'm know what I should do but it's not what I can.

And I'm sorry I'm afraid to fall.

                                        I wish that I was strong, but I accept that I am weak.

                         I'm sorry I'm too tired to try.

I have my secret dreams but I don't have a goal.

                                               I'm sorry I don't want to fly.

               I know I could have more, but I don't want to take.

        I'm happy to just be alive.

                                  I know there's treasure out there but I don't want to fight.

I'm happy to just survive.

                         I've kept up a sweet smile and I've helped when I could.

     There's nothing more I can give.

                                      I've got plenty of things- I don't want anymore.

                                                                            I just want time to live.

             I know what I should say, but I don't know how.

I don't have time to take a class.

                      So I'll say it simple, and leave you soon:

If  you don't like me: kiss my ass.