These are the poems that were written in moments that mattered.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

I don't love

May 18, 1997 (9th grade, age 14)
Another boy and I had broken up, and again it didn't bother me. I wouldn't let myself fall in love. I wrote this maybe to explain to myself why, and to set the standard of measuring guys.

 
I don't love
I don't cry. I don't get hurt. Does that make me fake or strong?
I don't hate or love. Does that make me good or wrong?

If you make me laugh, I'll run away. If you make me mad, I'll smile and stay.
Does that make you confused?
If you treat me bad, I'll scream and shout. If you fall in love, I'll kick you out.
Does that make you feel used?

I don't play it safe, I don't walk away. Does that make me brave or off?
I don't get bored, I don't fall down. Does that make you admire or skoff?

I protect my heart, above all. I try my hardest not to fall.
I don't trust unless I see the truth in your eyes.
If you try to hurt me I won't care. If you hurt a friend,  you'd better beward.
Did that come as a surprise?

I hate to show fear, I hate to be nieve. Does that make me selfish or prepared?
I don't let people in, I don't let feelings out. Does that make me brave or scared?

We can be the most perfect team. You can match my most perfect dream.
And I'd just wonder why.
You can call my an angel from above, tell me you've fallen in loved.
And I'd just call it a lie.

But if you try till it makes me mad, say if I go, you won't be sad.
Let me scream and you still fight. Hold me if it takes all night.
And if you stay till the gate is through. That's when I'll fall in love with you.

When I'm so mad, I can't be mad anymore.
And I realize that's what you've been fighting for.
When I'm fighting the darkness, and you see me through.
When I want to see black and you show me blue.
When the light comes shining through.
That's when I'll fall in love you.

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