The Face in the Mirror
I look at myself- I don't like what I see.
I don't like the smile, for it shows the real me.
In my smile I see deception and coverings of my fear.
It draws in more people- brings more victims near.
I want to scream for them to go- to stay away from me.
But they will laugh and come- my truth they never see.
If only I could never smile- they'd stay far away.
So I hate the grin I wear- and smile one less today.
For today I hurt someone and I don't like causing pain.
Without a thought before- I've done it once again.
Then, I don't deserve the smiles for then smiles are returned.
I don't deserve the joy for all the hearts I've burned.
My eyes let others see- I'm angered hurt and sad.
And then I get their sympathy and that is very bad.
For I deserve the guilt I guess, and having smiles fade.
Why do they still care? Still rush to my aide?
For I know I should be punished and called a disgrace.
But no one else sees the truth looking at my face.
Yet, as I list he bad I am and try hard to hate me-
I hear a voice cry don't give up and goodness I still see.
I still hear the thanks and see the eyes feel with tears.
I still feel the growing smiles as I comforted their fears.
I can't decide on the hardest thing I could choose.
Who is right or wrong- do I win or lose?
One calls me awful and I've hurt her to the bone.
Yet so many times I've held them so they weren't alone.
I don't deserve forgiveness, but I don't deserve the flame.
It's an endless battle with myself- this tiring Gemini game.
One cheek is so good and can smile at the face.
One cheek burns with tears and turns as a disgrace.
So I'll just stare at the mirror and forever never know-
Which face is really mine, and does the truth show?
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